Thursday, February 3, 2011

Birthmother Letter

Dear Birthmother,

This must be a very difficult time in your life and we admire your courage in considering open adoption. Open adoption is extremely close to our hearts, not only because Gerry is adopted, but also because both our families are filled with adopted siblings. We know how important it is to honor birth families because we have found that everyone’s lives are more complete and happy with each other in it. We want to get to know you and welcome you to be part of our family. We believe that open adoption is a life-long journey together, and we would be honored to share that journey with you.

About us 
Our journey began in Phoenix, Arizona over 10 years ago. We were introduced by mutual friends and enjoyed an evening of laughter, storytelling and sharing photos of our dogs. As the years have passed, we continue to unconditionally love each other with patience, understanding and a promise to embrace life.

Our lives are filled with family gatherings, travel, cultural events, sports, music and laughter. On weekends, we attend local art festivals, farmers markets and community celebrations, such as St Patrick’s, Cinco de Mayo and Martin Luther King Day. We enjoy international travel to places like England, Ireland, Mexico, Canada and Spain. We look forward to traveling with our child throughout the US and beyond, to experience many cultures and traditions. 

Gerry enjoys working as a Program Manager at a microchip manufacturer company. She has a passion around leadership and empowers others to achieve him or her goals. Kim is a Professor and Team Leader at a local university. She coaches students to know and believe that they are capable of learning anything. We will encourage our child to be curious about the world. We will expose him or her to the many different ways of learning and help instill self-confidence. What we enjoy most about our careers is the flexibility to often work from home and take care of our family.

About Kim: (by Gerry) 
Kim is the ‘light of my life’ and the most wonderful person I have ever met! Kim is always there to listen with a non-judging heart, and she is never too busy to help those in need. She believes in volunteering and contributing to the community and will share that value with our child.  She has taught me the power of never giving up on my dreams, and that family is made up of the people who love and care for you.  Kim has a passion for all types of music and will teach our child how to play the guitar. She is very bright, creative and is a wiz with computers. She is a gifted cook and will teach our child family recipes that came from her great grandmother. I know from watching Kim with our nieces and nephews, that she will love playing games, teaching about the world around us, and helping our child to learn to be independent.  Kim will show our child that he/she is a beautiful person on the inside and outside.

About Gerry: (by Kim) 
When I first met Gerry, she took my breath away. She has this incredible way of reminding people that anything is possible. She inspires me to live genuinely and always offers her time, unconditional love and friendship.  Gerry is an avid reader and will share that love with our child each night at bedtime. I know she will love reading children’s books, coloring, and teaching him or her how to swim and ride a bike.  Gerry is passionate about history and will teach our child the story of America and how many cultures shaped our country.  She will share her love of animals and include him or her in walking, feeding and playing ball with our dogs in the backyard.  Gerry will ensure our child develops self-respect and encourage lifelong learning through fun educational games and trips to local museums.  She is kind, compassionate and truly believes that we teach through the clarity of our example. Gerry has a way of always making me laugh and will share her happiness with our child.

Our Family  
Holidays are shared with family and filled with food, laugher, music and some travel. Since Gerry’s birth family and adoptive family live in Ireland, we travel to Europe yearly. Visiting Ireland means playing with cousins, visiting old castles and trotting through the wildlife parks. We are always laughing, eating Irish potatoes and creating memories! Gerry has two adopted sisters, three brothers, plus three birth brothers, and is close to all of them. These visits include our 17 nieces and nephews!

Kim’s family lives in New England and it is a family tradition to celebrate Thanksgiving together. Her Dad cooks and the family pitches in to eat everything in sight! Kim’s stepmother makes cookies, cakes and holiday treats. Kim has two brothers (one was adopted) and two beautiful nieces.  Family visits to New England means sharing meals, playtime with the kids, Boston’s aquarium, Science & Fine Arts museums and building sandcastles on the beach. Everyone is looking forward to sharing photos and videos on Facebook and Skyping with our child. 

We consider our many friends in Arizona to be our family as well.  Everyone is excited about our baby and is helping us prepare. We are surrounded by very loving people who are looking forward to day trips to the Phoenix Zoo, botanical gardens and children’s museums.

Our Neighborhood 
Our community is nestled in the foothills of the San Tan Mountains and filled with children, schools and neighborhood parks. We live only 40 minutes South of Phoenix, but our nearby regional park has over 10,000 acres of natural resources and trails, where we like to walk our dogs, Doyle and Riley. Right behind our house is an elementary school and children’s park.  Our child will have plenty of space to play sports and laugh with the other kids. The community has a variety of families, cultural events and block parties. Our home is a place that is warm, safe and filled with the smells of homemade cooking. 

Our Promise to You and Our Child 
Our promise to you is simple - We believe, through open adoption, we can come together and celebrate our families. We promise to always raise our child with self-respect and a belief that anything is possible. We deeply value education and will provide our child every opportunity to attend college. We promise to unconditionally love, guide and encourage our child while honoring you as birthmother. We want to learn more about you and welcome you into our family.

Love, Kim & Gerry


  1. REading this made me think it would be so nice for every parent or potential parent to sort their thoughts and come up with a letter similar to yours. I see so much care and thought went into your letter, and you clearly are building your nest to welcome your new child. I sort of want to move in, at this point. :) (Sometimes I act like a baby. Does that count?) lol

    Oh that everyone's home could be as prepared and inviting!

    May you be blessed.

  2. Hi Lisa,

    Yes, I have to say that the process really pushes you to be introspective. Generally though, I find that we are at a point in our lives that both our perspectives are starting to change. In other words, we are reevaluating what is "important" to us and how we want to move forward from here. Really a blessing! BTW, come to AZ, I'll cook for you, Tim and the kids! Family of choice, right!?

    Love, Kim

  3. This is so beautiful I just had to come back and read it again. :)

  4. @ Jill - Awe, you're so sweet. Honestly, I do the same thing from time to time. We're trying to be patient as the brochure is being developed. I can't wait to see the final result. Lots of Love xxoo