Thursday, January 20, 2011

What's in a Birth Mother Letter

Hi Everyone,

Where does one start in writing a birth mother letter. This has to be the most difficult letter we have ever written in our lives.  What do we say? Can we convey our feelings in 1200 words or less. I cannot begin to tell you how much we love this person, without even having met her yet.  We poured our hearts into this letter and sent the first revision to the adoption center during the holiday break. 

The birth mother letter included the headings: About us, Our family, Our neighborhood, About Kim (by Gerry), About Gerry (by Kim) and Our Promise. Many revisions were provided. Honestly, we made every suggestion the counselor asked of us. Even though the second revision seemed a bit clinical, we just felt that they are the expert in their field. I really struggled with this because I firmly believe that energetically "connect" with those in our lives. I couldn't help but ask myself, IS THIS TEACHING ME PATIENCE? When I have the final version, I'll be sure to share it with you.

We also provided at least 90 photos to the agency. Thank you to our close friend, Jill Carilli for taking them on New Years Eve! We are hopeful to hear back from the agency this week. In the meantime, we are putting the baby room together and went a little hog wild on purchasing the Bear Wall Art. Attached are some photos of the furniture to start. 

After all of this, I sit here in amazement. How did I ever get so fortunate? Surely, God/Universe has heard our many, many prayers.  Thank YOU for sharing this experience with us.

Love, Kim & Gerry


  1. I love that dark wood nursery furniture. Very classy! I can send you the few pictures I have of you guys if you need them. From the Scottsdale Art Festival mostly.

  2. Hi! I found you through Bobby's blog and wanted to commiserate with you about how hard it is to have to make those changes. We just went on the books after 7 drafts of our letter! But I have to say I am thankful that they made us do those. The final product is pretty fantastic if I do say so myself. :) Good luck to you!

  3. Kim,
    I know as I read over the birth letters I struggle to understand why they want them so similar, so formulaic. How do you buck that a little to show the expectant parents/potential first mother & father who you are? I'm interested to see yours. After a hiatus, I think we're getting ready to take action on this maybe a little. Of course we still have to complete the bloody homestudy. I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you both. Looking forward to hearing more.

  4. HI Bobby, Crista & Tepary, Sorry again for the delay. For some reason I'm not being notified when there are posts. Eeek! I'll have to fix that today.

    Yes, Bobby please send over the photos! It would be great. Do I look thinner?? LOL (don't answer THAT!) Call/email soon. Dinner at our house?

    Crista & Tepary, yes I do agree that the suggestions that were offered by the agency did make a difference. However, I struggle with the agency's notion that everything needs to be the same. I find that the requested updates changed the spirit of the letter. However, we chose specific words that we truly identified with. i.e.: believe, inspire, self-respect, etc. Hopefully our personalities and deep desire to be parents will shine though.

    We received an email from the adoption counselor late last night. He did not mention the 2nd revision of the letter so I suppose that looks good. He did say however that we need more photos enjoying our hobbies. Our family photos were not enough. (soft sigh) He wrote once sentence that made it all better. He wrote, "Your personalities, love for each other and family shine through in this photo album."
    I can't begin to share with you how much better that made us feel.

    Birth mother letter soon to come.

    Hugs, Kim

  5. Hey There,

    I'm thrilled to have met you both and share in your awesome journey towards parenthood. Many exciting challenges and life lessons are awaiting you. Good times!

    When you showed me the pictures of the new baby furniture on your phone over dinner, I felt very honored and proud to be connected... connected to something greater and more powerful than just being a server at Olive Garden, but to your life changing story. However, seeing the pictures again now brings a new emotion of possibility and faith. Faith in believing that with God, ANYTHING is possible. If you ask for what you want, and believe in the creator of all, then, and only then, will you receive what you asked for.
    ASK, BELIEVE, RECEIVE! That simple!

    Wishing you your heart's desire!

  6. Rochelle,

    We absolutely loved connecting with you! Thank you for your inspiring words. I'm so glad you found your way to our blog. It's been a crazy week but we are delighted to be so busy. If you're schedule permits, lets get together in February?

    Hugs, Kim & Gerry